Topic: Humor, Jokes, Videos:

[|BUG| Shamu]

Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"..and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S.Treasury.
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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
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Coca-Cola was originally green.
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It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000
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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
---------------------------------------------------------------Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Cae! sar
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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th,   the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
 
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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you
would find the letter "A"?
A One thousand
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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser
printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service.
"Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
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Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wl.

Amzanig huh?
--------------------------------------------------------------AND FINALLY:

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

[Beckett]

well thats a bummer.. i had to go back and look for #9.. lol

Good read Shamu,
Beckett

[|BUG|[MI6]009]

For those who watch "My Name is Earl." 

I entered this photo into Wired Magazine,
let's see if they print it!?

[|BUG| Seven]

Subject: Card Trick from Japan


Keep watching to the end!

 
http://www.glumbert.com/media/cyril 
 

hahah is he "Hiro's" relative? 

S.

[|BUG| Seven]

For those who watch "My Name is Earl." 

I entered this photo into Wired Magazine,
let's see if they print it!?

I dont watch the show but I know about it!
is that you in the photo? excellent one! 

S.

[|BUG| Shamu]

Dog and Cat Diaries

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40am Walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing !
5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies".I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around her feet as she was walking.

I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He
is obviously retarded!

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he
reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now....... 

[|BUG| Shamu]

One-question IQ Test

Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day . .

There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the
action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

Think about this, first, before scrolling down for the answer.
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
He opens his mouth and says. "I would like to buy a pair of Sunglasses".

If you got this wrong -- please turn off your computer and call it a day.

I've got mine shutting down right now.

(You know you missed it too, so shut down your computer)

[|BUG| Shamu]

Best Quote of 2007?
By Chris Rock, comedian 2-28-07

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush and Dick.

[|BUG| Seven]

this could be an old one but I just found and thought of sharing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI&eurl=http://www.sport24.gr/freddos.asp

there is a bit of a foul language there, I hope its not too inappropriate

S.

[|BUG| Shamu]

Well, I had not heard and this heterosexual carnivor enjoyed it.....even the gay part.

[Beckett]

this could be an old one but I just found and thought of sharing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI&eurl=http://www.sport24.gr/freddos.asp

Priceless! Ive heard it before on Bob and Tom. It never gets old.

Thanks,
Brother B

[|BUG| K-Man]

I almost fell out of my chair laughing at this video.
Happy Valentines Day Baby

[|BUG| Shamu]

 

[|BUG| Medic]

To truly understand the relationship between the police and firemen, watch this series of videos. The first link is for the first 7 episodes, the second link is for episode 8.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-QgctZDpHSQ

http://youtube.com/watch?v=siL_GiksltM

Sometimes it's hard being a fireman....

[|BUG| Shamu]

For the gambler in you, click on it and I think it will work.